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Asking Permission to be Who You Really Are

Writer's picture: Tracy RobertsTracy Roberts


There comes many times in all our lives when we are challenged to change who we think we are, into something more valuable. You see we have all heard it said that 'you are the only one that has the ability to make ULTURN into something Pretty Good.'

OK well maybe you didn't say or hear that but society does say it and we do all know that it is in tune with the way the world works.

These words though when distorted and taken out of context of course, become pretty misleading.

Most people will go along with the virus of destruction as much or more than they do anything else. To be fair that is just human nature will lead most to do it regardless of cause or effect. The sad thing is that it does get carried deeper into the psyche to the point where they really do not see the opposite side. It makes no difference which way we take our sound judgment of things they key thing is we make a choice.

What is it you are actually seeking to change? Who do you think you are? Re-write your story and who you really are and what you really want out of life.

It is possible you could be seeking validity and not authenticity.

Are you seeking to be the healer of your mankind or the destroyer?

Realize the time is coming when it will be very important to feel and release the pain and sorrow you have experienced. Children grow up easily to where they do not seem to hold pain as something they remember. It is not only important to forgive those that hurt you it is also important to work through you own issues. Your past is a place of immense power when you realize that you can build a better future through forgiveness.

When we say, "forgiveness" we mean not just forgiveness, but we mean forgiving yourself. You have in the past used to hold on tight to wounds and situations that hurt you, now it is time to let them go and to move on. You must learn to forgive yourself and here is how you do it.

To forgive yourself you must know what you are forgiveness is.

A child has not yet laid his/her hand on you. It is not until you are an adult that you have experienced the pain that caused you to feel it. Sometimes it takes a little bit of pain to teach you how to forgive. But you must know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you need forgiveness; it is not natural to go into judgement upon others just as it is not natural to remain stagnant within yourself.

It is when you feel you have no alternative but to forgive that you are ready to forgive. To go on a continual journey of forgiveness means you remain neutral, that you do not seek the end result or what you hope to get out of it. The problem with most of us is that we want to be able to write off others because they hurt us. Wicked people and innocent people, friends and enemies all part of the same humanity. It is when you feel you cannot get angry at people that you need to understand that not only do you have the power to forgive, but the more negative energy you put out the greater is the negative charge.


Realize that you may have to extend your bubble of protection a little further. It may be someone that despite repeated awful behavior has not yet progressed to the point where they can do something about it. It may be that the behavior or attitude is within the person's nature to commit acts of terrible bitterness and to destroy people. This is when you need to work within your own boundaries and require an apology or better yet a complete erasing of the incident. It is not unreasonable to ask for the court to consider it as mere bad taste when you have the opportunity but remember as an adult you are no longer the naive children you once were.

Even if the person who wronged you is no longer in your life, you must find ways to forgive them. Even if you have decided to forgive them, it can be very difficult to let go. If they do not ask for your forgiveness, then fulfilling it would be yet another step towards their healing. You must decide that you can let go and it is a step towards their healing to ask. It can be very tempting to then think you do not deserve forgiveness anymore, however if you look deeper into the issue and you decide that on some level you are still responsible for the results you wanted and if they are not already coming your way then there is a point of view that needs to be addressed.

To forgive someone feels good, it goes beyond the short-term impulse and can turn into to the long-term impulse.



Practice patience and have faith that the cycle will change for the better.

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